Post completion blistering insecurity
I have it. I have it big time. I’m sure that fellow writers know it. When you finish a book, and you are all:
Because this is, BAR NONE, the best thing you have ever written. The creativity. The awesome. IT IS A WINNER! It will give you your JK Rowling type fame.
And you tell your friends, fans and family… And you get this- Someone will say… you finished another book? You magnificent bastard! I could never write a book, let alone X number of books.
And then it sets in. Post completion haze. That seething ball of misery and insecurity. I can’t imagine that I’m the only one who gets this. All of a sudden, you start staring off into space thinking…. what if they all think it’s crap?
You get the finishing notes from your editor… or beta readers. They find a whole bunch of typos… (as always) or that you’ve used one or two words over and over again- (Rather and Overly with this book… though at one point she wrote- what the hell is with you and all the adverbs?)
And you read the notes and nod and think… but… did you like it?
They can even write you back inside 30 minutes, and you are still torturing yourself the entire time. They didn’t tell me it was great… because…
THEY DON’T THINK ITS GREAT?! SO I’M SHIT! I’M A HACK! I’M NAVEL LINT! I COULDN’T EVEN GET A JOB AT HALLMARK! EVEN WORDPRESS IS ABOUT TO KICK ME OFF! MY CAT, WHO LOVES ME DESPERATELY WOULDN’T EVEN USE THIS BOOK AS LITTER. IF I GAVE IT TO THE HOMELESS, THEY WOULDN’T THINK IT WAS EVEN GOOD KINDLING.
Yep. Except even when they tell you it’s great, it’s intriguing, it’s amazing… you just don’t believe them… because THAT is Post Completion Blistering Insecurity. No matter what, you are the biggest fraud who ever wrote something down.
Yep. It lasts… oh.. A few weeks, I think. On and off. You have these moments of… OMFG! I remember why this was fantastic. Everyone will love it! It will sell a million copies and in a year they will be making a movie starring Morgan Freeman and Hayley Attwell!
And then you are back under your desk proving to the world why all writers are alcoholics.